How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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