woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
