so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
