So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
