im drinking this country out of the recession.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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