Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
