? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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