Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
