tell your sister to shave her snatch
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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