Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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