I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
