after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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