he wants to bone in the snuggie
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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