You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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