it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
