You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
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