if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize