i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
