the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
