Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
