If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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