Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
