Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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