You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What happened to fro yo and sex?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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