8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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