Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
