You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
