I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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