In the future we'll all be gay
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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