if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my being single is dangerous.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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