Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
