this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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