Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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