Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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