absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
time to smoke my breakfast
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
