I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
