Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
