you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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