She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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