absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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