Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
