why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
