youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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