Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
