3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
