I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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