I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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