i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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