p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
