I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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