I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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