That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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