just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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