Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
