Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize