My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
