I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
