Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Panties = found
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
