She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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