He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
