I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
