all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
