It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
