the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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