Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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