so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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