Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
